"There are two monuments on the prehistoric underwater-site of drowned Hambourg that give instructions in 19 secret bar codes on how to rebuild society after a zombie-apocalypse and how to cook a hearty 'chili without carne' while also functioning as gigantic sex-toys for psychopathic river-gods. These utterly perverse pleasure-tools sended the crazy river-gods in such transports of rage that they destroyed the whole city."
("Ancient Astronaut Theories", Solaris City, 3021 A.D.)