YOUR CHANCE CARD

Hello! I am Germany. I need workers. Caretakers for my grandma and grandpa. You are living in a country devastated by climate change, shaken by civil wars or corruption? Perfect! Want to work for me? Without drowning in the Mediterranean before, hahaha? Apply for a regular working-permission!

WHAT I EXPECT
You are teaching a modern programming language at the most important university of your country. You are familiar with the concepts of "Kehrwoche", "Schadenfreude" and the complete work of GF Hegel. You have a paper signed by one of our 25 DAX CEOs which prooves that you are allowed to live in his carport for at least 5 years. You wear a black belt in karate, kung fu or taekwondo. (Sorry, but I still couldn't get rid of all those Nazis. They hate people like you. Like I do, actually. But I fucking need you!)

WHAT YOU GET
A "Mundorgel", our famous little red booklet full of beautiful German folksongs. And a German Passport. But only if you pass your "Kehrwoche-Zertifikat" and survived 300 "Montagsdemos".